enigma

10 months...

2009-08-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

I have indeed almost forgotten about this blog. Like totally...

It has been nearly 10 months I have been working in this new environment. Actually, I like it. No, I love it. Love the new challenge, the new way of looking at things, the exposure, the friends I made, the colleauges... it feels like everyday is a new experience. And yes, I am so NOT bored yet. That is new to me. 10 months and I still feel I don't know anything yet. There is practically NOTHING that I can say I know about this area. That's definitely a challenge in itself.

Confused

2008-12-07T19:46:00.002+08:00

If only life is a bed of roses...

Love is supposed to be fulfilling, meaningful, colourful and filled with happiness. But since when it has become a burden? How has it turned out to be so complicated?

Have I indeed made the wrong choice since the beginning? Have I indeed been blinded by love that I know not the reality of life?

Or am I being selfish and unreasonable? Is this merely a matter of money vs love? Or is this a matter of wanting a better life? Then again, is life built on having abundant of material resources or one that is full of love, joy, happiness and laughter? Having said that, is it wrong to pursue both? Is that being greedy?

Perhaps, my life is not meant to be so. There is also no guarantee that by giving up someone, the next one will be better. It all comes down to choices that one makes and living out that decision.

Laziness...

2008-07-15T07:32:00.002+08:00

Has anyone of you felt really extremely lazy before? Especially when you do not hold a full time employment? As if everyday just ended like waste?

Well, i seem to be in that situation now. I just can't get myself going with my work in this home environment. Everything is so cosy. Not to mention the tempting bed which is just 2 feet away from me. Aargh...

Going home!! but...

2008-05-28T16:28:00.002+08:00

Wow.. this is my last week or should i say my last 3 days in my Uni.. I'm going home this sat!! 2 semesters have ended just like that. It can be rather scary when 1 year passes by so fast, as if just a sec. Not to mention i'm 23 years old now. I really feel old. Somehow i felt that i'm still 21... when i look at myself in the mirror, i can't imagine i've been living on this earth for 23 years already. I still remember when i was just 15 or 16, having fun and studying hard in high school. I guess i'm starting to understand and comprehend why parents exclaimed to one another on how fast their children have grown.

23 years gone... another 20 years will be just as swift, i believe. Hence, life is how one choose to live it. Anyway, i thought i could rest and have fun when i go back home.. Alas!!! My supervisor for my dissertation has asked me to start work on 9 June!!!!! That's just 1 week from now... Such an unexpected sad news... Well, gotta polish up my engine then..

Exams' Over!!!

2008-05-15T01:33:00.003+08:00

At last.. at last... It's all over! I'm so relieved. But i can't believe that the days pass by so fast. I thought i just started my exam week.. and today (I mean, yesterday)was my last paper. I hope that will be indeed the last exam i take for the rest of my life. However, i doubt so.

Anyway... i suddenly felt empty.. although its just 7 hours after the final exam. Its like the daily routine of studying and studying and anticipating for the next exam have come to an end. What's next? Rest i suppose, lol. Yeah that will be it. Then comes the next 'headache' - dissertation!!! Arghh.. well at least no more exams. Hehe...

1st Qtr of 2008 is over

2008-04-02T12:46:00.004+08:00

I was just blogging about me going back to school in the last post and now i'm at the end of my 2nd semester. For the next 2-3 weeks will be massive deadlines of assignments and exams commence next month. I'm anticipating 31 May when i'll be saying goodbye to the campus and hello to Home. I can't wait to be back in Kuching! But of course my studies are yet to be completed. Still have another sem to go which is a dissertation that I'll be carrying out back at home.

It seems like an exciting period of my life although i am still wondering why should I torture myself by going back to classes and exams. Nevertheless I think I'll be thankful that I have done it. Right now i can only see my 'future' until this September. Where do I go from there is the excitement I was talking about. It's like a journey to who I am. Perhaps by stepping out of home for the first time to further my studies even though its only across the south china sea to west m'sia, it gave me more courage and strength to explore the countries that I've yet to experience which is a whole bunch of them. Any suggestions for my road map?

Back to school

2007-11-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

Yeap, it's back to being a student, after spending a year in the society, figuring out what is work about, trying to make sense of our human life.

I'm currently on my postgraduate studies doing sth called business. Haha... I've gotten quite a few 'surprised' and questioning look on why business? Why not sth relating to accounting? or financing?

The truth is I don't even know if i made a correct choice. I thought i did, at first. But as more and more people asking me the 'why' question. I began to ask myself if i'm on the right track.

My semester started in mid september, which means it has been almost 2 months I'm here. Gosh it felt like just a month! What i made sense out of college life is that 'assignments' and 'term papers' meant lotsa readings, hardwork and writing. Welcome to college, Enigma!

As ironic as it sounds, working life is better than a student from my current perspective and vice versa from a working adult. We are never satisfied for who and where we are, eh?

In KL...

2007-05-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

I'm now in KL.. working.. and what time is it? 9.43pm on a saturday nite. Tomorrow have to come in again in the afternoon and most probably working till late at nite again. More terrible than my last trip.

Well, tomorrow i'll be going to DUMC for sunday worship. Hope i can destress myself there and find peace with God. Since working, i've gone astray from him. I know that last time i heard people and frens saying that some strong dedicated christians who were on fire for God in their campus life totally went cold after going out to the society to work. At that time i was thinking how could they be? Have they forgotten about Him? Why they put their work before their God?

Ahem.. now i'm in their shoes... It isn't easy when there are just so many things to distract you. For one, work... it's a new thing.. and you want to do well there. So you spent lotsa time in that. By the time you get home, you just want some entertainment. Before you know it, you are lying on the bed sleeping. The next morning, woke up and rush for work. If work life is busier. Can say there's no time at all. Wake up, work, go home, sleep then work again. Of course, no time is not an excuse at all. Coz if one have the desire to do quiet time, there's always time. Just depends in the will and discipline. What happened to me was, one day i decided to just rest and skip the quiet time. Also the same for the next day. As days passed by very quickly when working, i din realised that i've not done my quiet time for so long.. soon it became a habit.

And with work life, one will start to think about earning more money, saving money, managing on finances, thinking about a car or a house perhaps. With so many things in your mind, God is so conveniently forgotten. And guess when does he comes into the picture again? When you needed help... Pathetic eh?

Nevertheless, the most important thing is being able to wake up soon enough to know that one's relationship with God needs some serious mending. I'm trying to work on mine. It's not easy. Going for sunday services is definitely inquestionable, but have personal devotion time with God everyday and spending time just being with Him, i'm still struggling.

Actually this trip to KL, God has taught me something important. No matter how busy we are, or how far we are from Him, God is always there watching over us. Hoping that we'll spend some time with him everyday, waiting. Why do i say that is this... last monday, I went for an audit work in KL, alone, to Morgan Avenue II. I took a taxi to that place. Upon reaching there, it shows Morgan Avenue I. I asked the taxi driver, where is morgan Avenue II? He says just behind Morgan Avenue I. I say sure? He says yes.. just ask the people here. So, i paid him and left.

Carrying my heavy laptop, i just felt that somehow this is not the place that i should be going as i have came to find Morgan Avenue II the day b4. I thought this was the back entrance, so i just went into the building. Everything just seem so unfamiliar and wrong. I asked one of the guards who were standing nearby. "Is this morgan Avenue II?" . He looked at me and said," Morgan Avenue II is not here. This is Morgan Avenue I, jalan tunku abdul razak. Morgan Avenue II is at Jalan Yap Kwan Seng." I was stunned. And a bit panic already.. This means that the place that i need to be is totally at a difference place!! And i don't even know where i was. Looking out at the road, there were no taxi. It was just a small road. Looking around, there was no landmark, nothing to show where I was. Everything looks so unfamiliar. I then decided to go into the building, to see if there's any main entrance there. Alas, i can't even make out where is the main entrance! It was indeed a funny building. Thinking of calling a taxi.. but then i don't even know where i was and where can i tell the taxi to come fetch me. Double panic.

I was thinking this is just great! Now what? Well, i decided to walk back to where i came from and ask where can i wait for a taxi. When i was walking walking walking... someone familiar walked past me. I was a bit shocked. It was someone that i knew from my church in Kch. I don't know why is he there, but he was there. He looked at me and smiled. I waved and said hi. Then as he was about to walk past, he asked," Where have i seen you?" I said,"Church" and smiled.. Then we did our normal pleasantries like why i was there and why he was there. Then i told him my situation and asked for guidance. I was hoping he could even bring me to Morgan Avenue II.

He then told me i won't be able to get a taxi there from here. I was like oh no.. then how? But.. he says i can walk there. He taught me the way. I guess he could see that i was rather worried and panicky. He assured me that it is very easy and near as he has just walked from KLCC, which is near Morgan Avenue II. I was so thankful and grateful to have someone familiar and so fatherly in showing me the way and calming me down.

Maybe people will say that it was just a coincidence, but i don't think so. So far the days that i have been in KL, i have yet to met anyone i knew from Kuching. Let alone from the same church with whom i know can be trusted and relied on. But at that time, at that point... we actually met, walking on the same path in the big city of KL. It was not someone whom i only knew by name or reputation in the church. But someone whom i have chatted and known personally b4. At the time that i needed help with no one around to help, God sent an 'angel' to me. When no hope seems to be there, God provided a way that i never thought possible. Not a stranger to show the way, but someone i knew to show me and provide me comfort. In the time of despair and helplessness, God was there.

For me this is a big thing because God showed me that his ways are higher than my ways, his thoughts higher than my thoughts. He was watching over me, every steps that i took. I would never have asked or thought for such a help from him, sending someone familiar to me. Perhaps just a taxi or a kind person. He provided me more. Thinking back, i still can't possibly imagine how i could met that person at Morgan Avenue I at a weird time as 10am, which he should have been in office by then. God did not just provided enough, be provided more than i could ever asked.

Well, i don't know about you, but I am going to get back to God. Somehow... I don't want to be like most people, whom upon reaching 30/40/50 years of age, looked back in their life and found that they have not done anything but just work. What we see around us will all perish one day but what we have in Him who is the beginning and the end will never perish. A life with meaning can never be a life without Jesus.

Hello... Anybody home?

2007-04-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

I guess not. Coz i've been out since last year!! Oh dear, i have no idea i've not been posting for so so long. Hmm in other words all those who have been reading my blog would have probobly stopped. Oh well.. that's okay. Anyway, just to update you, I'm currently in KL - business trip. Have been here for more than 1 month!! Flight is booked on next Sunday. But the possibility of going back home is still uncertain.

Indeed being out here in KL for so long has been an experience. The best part is that i get to meet my bf every sunday. Yes only every sunday. And the worst part is i have to work like till midnite everyday. Include SATURDAYS as well. Just that sometimes we get to go back early on that day. Not to mention that we have to work on sunday as well. But that is very rare. Conclusion, life as an auditor is terrible. Lack of sleep, tons of work, lots of stress, everyday work, eat, sleep and work. Is this LIFE?

I was counting the other day. To my surprise i've been working for almost 9 months. That's a lot to me. 9 months... My coursemates, i.e. those studying ACCA with me, are starting to work as well. And i have 3 of them in the same company! It's nice to have familiar people around me. I really do miss the student life, where there are no worries or complicated issues in life. One just concentrates on the books. It's so enjoyable.

But i guess everyone needs to grow up. I wonder if you see the miracle of life? From the birth of a child, to it's growth to a toddler, adolescence and adult. The phases of life that he/she goes thru. The changes and decisions made along the way. Then till marriage and a new whole cycle repeats itself. Has nobody see the uniqueness of that? It's amazing. Life is not a coincidence. There is a meaning for that. Hope I do discover that in time to come.

Aloha

2006-11-23T22:19:00.000+08:00

I’m in my fifth month of working life. After 4 months, if anyone asked me how’s work, I would just reply fine. In truth, I have no idea what I have been doing over the months. Yes, I worked all day, but that’s it. Any knowledge gained? Definitely, but really little compared to studying. Mostly learnt are people skills. In the beginning I was rather dissatisfied with my current position, grumbling that I am learning too little – not what I have expected at all. My mind till now is just BLANK.

Is this life? Looking at the people around me, this seems to be the case. What is work? A place where one put their heart, soul and mind? A place where one can show off and see how far they can accomplish? Or just to earn a living?

Everyone will have different definition for work. Nonetheless people that I met as well as had conversation with, have similar ‘feelings’ about work. Why is it that so many people are not getting the fulfillment out of work? Why are these people still working and complaining? Some just worked for 30 years and realized they have attained nothing. Don’t they feel something amiss?

I believe deep down they do. Then why no action was taken? Perhaps wanting to settle down? Current job is bringing in high income? Tied up in commitments? Each decision we made have huge consequences that we know no bound.

After I worked and take a closer look at life, I wanted to tell all the children and youths to really treasure their time. There is a time for every moment. If it is to study, then study. Enjoy it. If it is having fun, friendship, puppy love, hurts, cries, betrayals, then, experience it. Because some of the things that you have experienced, you won’t be able to experience it once more.

Nevertheless, I still think if we are willing to take risk and a bagful of courage, we shall find the place that is just right for us.

For me now is the searching time, to know what I want out of life. What I discover is that when one started to work, as you taste a bit of life, one’s future starts to shape. Meaning, you can start seeing what is coming ahead. Such as how much should I save a month? Should I apply a credit card? Which bank? What about insurance? Car? House? Vacation? Parents? Marriage? Or leave the comfort zone and explore elsewhere?

What I’m trying to say is there are so many things that just zoomed into my radar. Things that I did think about last time, but now is the decision making time. Rather different.

I started out work with a spirit of enthusiasm, direction and energy. But a few months down the road, chuckle. Are there any motivation? None.

As I see work as a part of my life now, an integral part, I start to see where I would be in 5 years or 10 years time. Regardless of how high I have climbed the corporate ladder or travel around on business trips, work is still work. Now seems to be the time to see the direction of life. Coz when work is talking about the next 30 years. One should indeed think what is that they want out of life. Then pursue their dreams to live their lives to the fullest.

Anyway, I’ll be leaving to KL tomorrow for my Prize Giving Ceremony in regards to my ACCA. Being placed 2nd out of more than 300 ACCA finalists is indeed an honor. However I just can’t feel that excitement. I actually don’t think I deserve that. I mean yeah I do well in my exams but till that well? I don’t know.

What will this Prize bring me? Opportunities? Am I good enough for such challenges? It’s rather scary to know that you are not that good but others expect you to be on top, excelling. Hmm.. Well, let’s see.

Work life

2006-09-16T10:40:00.000+08:00

I've been rather enjoying myself since i started work. Yes it is indeed a hectic life, but it's fun. The 2 weeks i've been in Sibu, I've learnt a lot about audit and how to go about it. Am still learning, but that 2 weeks really gave me the exposure that i need.

My part time lecturing has also been going on well so far. This time i think i did much better than the first time i lectured in my previous college. This credit does need to give to the college who gives real support to their lecturers.

I'll be going off again to Sibu tomorrow for a week. Haha.. didn't expect myself to be outstation once I got into this accounting firm. But it's really fun working outstation coz it all seems more relaxing. And of course the time spent with colleagues to get to know them more.

Study life and work life indeed differs. I don't think i've changed much since i started work but it gives me a new challenge. Some people say they prefer studies than work. I guess i do too when work is overwhelming and one needs to deal with politics in the firm or just the relationships with fellow colleagues. Sometimes it can be rather draining.

All in all, i don't know my feelings yet about work. But managing finance wise is something that i'm learning. To ensure that i don't spend more than what i earn and try to save. In which is quite impossible as of now.

Oh yeah, i just attended my graduation (CBS) last saturday. It was rather last minute, but ahaha first time wearing the robe and all that, kinda nice. Seeing myself a graduate. I still can't grasp that. Haha.. Perhaps all these are just too fast. Even now when people asked me you are now working? Have you finished your studies? I would answer yes and still not quite used to tell others that i've graduated.

2 days ago, my manager asked me what's next? Like what's next after my studies and also an award that i've gotten. I'll update you guys on that award when i received the confirmation. Anyway, i truly do not know what's next. Work life can be dry and routine and meaningless. Like without purpose. Everyday, day in day out is work work and more work. It's not exactly the life that i would like to live in. Am still exploring what i can do with my life. But for now, i better just concentrate on my 3 years of working to get my chartered. Then i'll think about what's next. What do you say?

ACCA

2006-09-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

Guess what?? I passed!!! No more studies, no more exams!!! Great? haha.. hope so. Really thank God for his faithfulness and grace. Amazing... I'm just so amazed to have passed my ACCA. Proud? Yeah... Especially on this final one. All i can say is, without Christ, it won't have been possible.

So.. now the headache is which graduation to attend? I can either attend my college one or ACCA one. Still deciding but time is running out coz I have to give an answer by Tuesday.

Actually i just came back from Sibu. It was my first outstation assignment and for 2 weeks somemore. I enjoyed myself tremendously. It's fun to work out of Kuching, where i can fully concentrate on that job. Learnt a lot as well. Happy happy...

But I'm concern about my part time lecturing job which has been postponed for 2 weeks as i was outstation. My first lecture will be tomorrow evening and I'm truly nervous. Although I've taught that paper before but I'm just not confident about myself. Am worrying if the students find me boring or lousy or don't-know-how-to-teach. Hmm.. guess i'll have to leave that worrying part till tomorrow.

So long!

I'm BACK...

2006-08-09T05:45:00.000+08:00

Hi hi... Sorry for my disappearing act for past 1.5 months. Many things have happened but I praise God for all of them.

Well, after my exams, like what i said, i send in applications to EY and PWC through CBS. I was really hoping on the PWC as it is my wish to work in PWC. However EY offered me first, thus i accepted and started working on 10 July. Even till now, there was no news about PWC. Kinda sad.But I'm sure no matter where I work, I'll still gain the experience i need.

Life was so hectic and busy when i started work. 8 to 5 schedule really drown me when i got home. No more energy. Nonetheless, for the first few weeks of work, i was to meet quite a few friends on different nights. Basically, my days are all packed.

Not to mention that I have the opportunity to teach children and youth in tambourine and worship dance every Sunday from 2 to 5. Confession : I'm not really good in this. What i know is rather limited. So i need to learn from elsewhere and do preparations for these classes the day before which in on Saturdays. This is draining as well.

Oh yeah, to make things worst, I received my OBU results in the middle of July and i failed. It was a big hit. Not only mentally but emotionally as well. This is the first time in my life i failed in such important 'exams'. I was crushed. My confidence level just plummet to dunno where. I labelled myself a failure despite my friend's comfort. This only brings more stress to me.

You see, without this OBU, i won't be able to graduate. Of course if i managed to pass my ACCA which the results are coming out in 2 weeks time, i'll still be a graduate as well, but the chances are much slimmer. Right now, i totally have not much hopes in those 3 papers.

I guess this is what life is all about. We go through trials all the way. For me, this is my first academic downs. Totally. I never expected this to happen to me but it has. I learnt that the most important thing is how we overcome failures. I have no idea how am i going to overcome this, but by God's grace He'll surely carry me through.

So, i'll be resubmitting my OBU project again. This time I'll be taking it with CBS. With more experience mentor and support from the school, I do hope I pass this round.

That's all for now. Gotta run. Tata.

Post exam Syndrome

2006-06-24T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone!! After a long break, here i am. Exam is just over, about 9 days ago. I know i should be feeling all excited and happy and like 'YES!! It's freedom!' but that's not what i felt at all. Well, first of all it's because the exam is TOUGH!! And knowing how 'much' preparation i've done for this exam with the quality of answer i penned down on those answer sheets, if i do get through, all glory belongs to God. I really have no idea whether i am going to get through all these 3 papers.

Next comes the headache. What now? i mean okay i've done with my studies... so what's next? It's like all of a sudden life seems to come to a standstill with no direction or whatsoever of the next step. Work? Wait for results? Go have fun? Perhaps as i am a person who make lists and do lotsa planning. With no options at hand and knowing that my future starts now is kinda scary. I mean I'm DONE with my studies?? aha.. seems too fast. It was just 2-3 years back that i was 'mooning' over my SPM. And now i'm to go out to society to begin my life endeavour.

Also, most of my friends are still studying, thus it's kinda odd to start working while others are talking about exams and studies. Will this affect friendships? I hope not.

Actually i've sent in 2 copies of RESUME to CBS to submit it to EY and PWC. Hope that i'll get some feedback soon. In truth i am not really excited about starting work so soon. I'm not too sure why. I guess there's still so much things to see and learn in this world. Being tied down to a 9-5 job isn't really that appealing. Not forgetting that working in audit line means more than that. It's a whole life of 'slavery'. Haha..

Okay, that's all for this post. Cheers!

Tired...

2006-05-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

Based on the title of this post, u would have gathered things are not going that well for me. Actually, everything is going on great! In a good mood. Everything just seems to be going on pretty well. I think the main thing is my relationship with Michael which is on smoother road as a couple is stepping in to mentor us. Really appreciate their care for us.I hope that with that we will have greater accountability between both of us.

Well, i just read my previous post and found out that i was supposed to start studying 1 month ago, and... I just started. Exams is just around the corner and.. Will be having mock exam next week but pretty busy this weekend as having classes from 9am till 7pm everyday. That's the reason for my tiredness. Hope to visit this blog after exams again. Perhaps on a more regular basis by then. God bless all of you!

now

2006-04-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

So.. OBU projects is over. Just had a braining straining 23 hours strategic financial management class for the past 3 days. Brain filled with so much knowledge, surely need processing as well. The next 10 days will be a busy week as classes everyday. This is called strategic stretch? Leveraging resources? hmm... Hope that I am able to assorb everything that is taught. Tomorrow is supposedly the start of my study towards my exam. But i might have to start of Tues as time is quite pack. Hmm... Actually kinda excited to study for my exams as this time these 3 papers are all very interesting although mind bogging. Okay hope to update this blog again soon. Till then!

At last

2006-03-27T09:50:00.000+08:00

Done!! As in my OBU project is FINISHED!! A total of 6607 words... finally. Not yet passed up though. Going to in a few more minutes. Yesterday night was burning midnight oil to complete it. Slept at 3am. So today my eyes are like that of panda's. Really glad I've gotten over this 'massive' project. Will counted as really over after submitting it to my college. Then, I can start studying for my exams in June, which is just around the corner. Well, this means that study, study and study from now onwards. Wish me your blessings...

It's March!

2006-03-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

2 months have passed. And we are entering the 2nd week of March 2006. For me, it means study time!! However I'm still doing my OBU (oxford brookes university) degree's research paper which will be completed by end of this month. And so there goes my March. 2 months left before exams. That's so SOON. This will be my last exam and i hope it will indeed be the last one. After SPM, I've been having exams every June and Dec each year till now. And it's about time I have a rest from exams eh?

Actually I'm rather excited to complete my studies this year, then graduation. WOW... that would be really nice. Then work? This is still something that i'm pondering. To work or find stuff to study? haha. Although I've worked before but it's different when one really start working with no more studies in mind. It's really stepping into the World. Starting a career, pursuing it, financial issues, save money, buy this and that, house perhaps, bills etc. It's kinda sad actually to say 'bye' to school and 'hello' to life. Well...well.

Change of view point

2006-02-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

These past 2 weeks or so has been really great. I enjoyed every moment of it. I've started my part time work as a reading teacher at a kindy. I spent around 3 hours each morning with the children, making sure they read a book daily and sometimes I'll be on duty to 'watch' over them during their play time. Spending time with them has indeed brought joy and laughter into my daily life. Children are pure in heart and simple in thoughts. One can learn a lot from them.

Anyway, besides my work, I've decided to quit my attempt in going into the financial planning industry. My uncle who happens to be the one who recruited me in the beginning, and that has been constantly keeping tracks on my progress as a recruit agent, motivating and encouraging me in this line. I was quite interested at that time as it is quite a fast money making industry. However as i move on with it, under the guidance of my uncle, i realised that i can't agree with a few of his way of dealing with issues and also his own belief which clashed with mine, eventhough others may think that it's not such a big deal.

The thing is, this time, during our last meeting, he asked again what actually interests me? What gets me? What attracts me? What do i want to do in the future as a career? Don't i want to have my own business? To earn lotsa $$$? To be able to afford this and that? To buy own house and car within 5 years? So on and so forth. 1 month ago, I would have been in quite an enthusiastic mood and said yes that's what i wanted. I mean most of us students now, what do we want in the future? Why are we studying so hard? What are we pursuing? Some even take up certain degrees because they will be able to have a higher pay with that kind of education. Most of us are all striving hard in order to lift up our standards of living. In other words, we students are studying now with a future career in mind. As in what do i want to be or do? What do i want to pursue? Is that the job that i'll want to be in for the rest of my life? Can that career path be a good enough investment for my future? To sustain my expenses in life?

What do we actually want out of life? Now is definitely our studies, education. Then? Maybe pursuing a higher degree, ie masters or doctorate degrees? And then? Stepping into working life? The beginning of adulthood? To get our first paycheck? Spend it? Save it? With that comes a car? House? Properties? Investment? Shopping? Luxuries? Then perhaps it's time for marriage? Kids?

Indeed all these are what we are suppose to do, as this is the cycle of life. But may i pose you a question. What do you want to accomplish in your life? What do you actually wanna do for the rest of your life that will bring fulfillment, meaning and satisfaction into your life?

I guess these questions is sort of self discovery. We will all go through this at one time or another in our life journey. And when this is posed to me, i suddenly discovered that money, fame, luxuries no longer bring any meaning to me. Indeed sometimes i do have an interest in them, but no longer the passion to pursue these. Our lives on earth are indeed so short. For me, i prefer to start knowing what i want now and to put it into action rather than after 30-40 years did i realise i have not done anything that i really wanna do.

As i look into the lives of people around me. I found that if we could just sit back, relax and look around for a while, we can learn a lot from them. I was wondering, if there's a life that has no worries, anxieties, chaos, would you like to have that? To live everyday to your best knowing that you have not wasted any of your time or energy?

Well, it seems that i have side-tracked. What i wanted to say is through working in the kindy. I found that everyone has their own place. A good kindy teacher might not be able to do what another is doing and vice versa, her pay might not be as high as others, she might not be recognised in the society as much as one, but the significance of job is the same. [This applies to any other jobs] In this world, we tend to measure achievement by $$, status, popularity, education or talent. But if we would just allow ourselves to be in the shoes of others, everyone is the same. There's no one who can be said as better than another. Our different gifts and abilities are needed to form this community, society, country and ultimately this world. If we are able to see that we need one another as a body, everyone as equal, loving and cherishing one another for who they are, our world will indeed be a much better place to live in. Nevertheless, i guess this will remain as a utopia.

Peaceful day....

2006-01-28T20:26:00.000+08:00

Planned to wake up at 5.30am... but too tired, switched off my alarm clock and went back to sleep.. only to realise that i forgot to sms someone before i slept. Oops! Anyway i woke up at 7am.. Nearly forgot where was i .. Got so used to wake up i my hostel that this morning i thought i was in my hostel room. Well, well... really miss waking up in the cozy hostel that i shared with another 2 roommates. Oh well.

This morning i unpacked and tidied up my room. There's just so many stuff to be put into the right place. Realised that it has been quite a while since i tidied up my room. Confession.. haha.. After that i helped around the house and went out to do some last minute shopping with my dad. I'm glad to be home, to be of use to my parents. But at the same time really miss all my frens in MTS.

Just had my reunion dinner with my family, grandpa and uncle. Parents ordered some dishes from Country Court. We had tons of leftovers. Guess those will be our meal tomorrow. Goodnews or badnews? But i doubt after some visitation we'll have the space to have any proper meals at all.

As i was checking my mails just now. Received 2 emails that really bring warmth to me. One was from Pastor Law, emailing the 10 of us - students of STMS (English) to write some words for him to put into Methodist Message - Connections. Another email was from Derek, telling us that he miss us all... and a few lines on what he did this morning. Well, this sudden taste of home (MTS) make me miss them even more. Although we only spent 24 days together, but we really grew rather close. Thank God for this opportunity for us to be able to study and learn from one another.

I'm back..

2006-01-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

Hey guys!!! I just came back from Sibu. Really sad to leave MTS as i have enjoyed myself immensely for these past 4 weeks studying and interacting with all the students there. There's so many memories to be shared with all of you and thank all my friends in MTS. However, i'm too tired for that today.

Just wanna wish u Happy CNY - Christ Near You...:) May God bless you.

Leaning on God

2006-01-07T09:38:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody. So how are you guys doing? Everything in life is going on fine? Great? I hope so. I'm now in MTS (Methodist Theological School) , Sibu attending STMS (Short Term Missions School). I'll be here for 1 month. I think i said it before hor? Haha.. oops. Life here is great. A lot of rules and regulations. Adjustments to be done. Classes to attend and assignments to complete. Not withstanding tests along the way and exams at the end of our term.

I really enjoy the life here. I'm only here for 5 days. Today is the 6th. At last i got the time to go to computer room to access an hour of 'e-world'. Haha.. I'll be leaving Sibu to Sarikei in 45 minutes. Will be there for 2 days to join in the activites at Nyelong Park Methodist Church and also attending its church service tomorrow.

STMS has indeed exposed me to quite a few things on Christian Living and God's word. The importance of God's word and prayers is magnified in this school. Well, i only have 2 weeks left here and another week to go to Bintulu for our missions trip, attaching to Emmanuel Methodist Church. Really look forward to that.

I'll update again when i have the time. May u continue to abide in God's love.

New year

2006-01-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

HAha.. me going off to Sibu tomorrow!! For 1 whole month. It's for a short term missions training at MTS (Methodist Theological School). I'm really excited about it coz this will be the first time i have the chance to taste how's life in studying God's word for 1 whole month. So, i won't be blogging for at least 1 month lor. Will be leaving at 8.30am later.. then coming back on 27 January in the afternoon. Then will be Chinese New Year!

By the way, my classes started last thurs. Can you believe it?? I just finished my exams 2 weeks ago... and I'm having classes liao. This first class is on P3.5 Strategic Business Planning and Development. All i can say is NOT easy. A lot of things to study and digest and understand and apply. And this is only the 1st core paper. With 3.6 and 3.7 coming in, chamm. However, my results will only be out end of Feb. Which means if i fail any papers, I'll have to defer my core papers and do it next sem.

Life

2005-12-23T19:35:00.000+08:00

Well, as you can see all my previous are gone. Reason - i want to start all over. But i have been pretty lazy to blog lately. I mean why blog? Who's going to read them? And why would people be interested in what's going on in your life? Well, some of us blog for fun, interest and entertainment purposes. Others blog to update their circle of friends on what's going on in their life. Whatever the reason maybe, i was thinking about mine. Why should i continue to blog??

Anyway, I've got to run. Have to complete my testimony for my confirmation this Sunday, which is on Christmas Day.

A new Beginning

2005-12-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! Exams OVER!!!! Finally i have the time to sit here and update you about my current life. I had the chance to meet up with Connie and Elaine last night. And also Pui Wen and all the others ex-classmates 2 days ago. It was the first time i joined the 'gang' and to my amazement, i felt really comfortable chatting with all of them. 2 years have passed and everyone is like on their own 'path' now, yet being able to come together, to catch up with one another, for me, that's a blessing.

By the way, debutante, a good friend of mine is NOT going to KL next year!!! She was suppose to further her studies in KL, but at the last minute she decided to stay in Kuching. I'm just so thrilled to have her companionship for yet another half a year. She has been and is still is the person that i can really talk to about career, life, future and actually just about anything under the sky. I guess this got to do with us being similar in quite a few things and sharing the same opinion. I really thank God for giving me a variety of friends. Debutante is someone that helps me to keep in line with my own perspective of life. Her friendship is indeed a special one to me and i thank God for having this unique friend of mine who is the only one progressing in the same pace as me throughout ACCA. Because of this, we were able to support one another in this area and spur one another on.

That's all for now. Will update again next time.